Introduction

Jesus’ invitation to discipleship is not a call to self-improvement, religious performance, or moral self-polishing.

His words touch identity, desire, and destiny:

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” (Luke 9:23)

To many, these words feel weighty or unclear—but they are an invitation into true life.

To ‘lose your life’ for Christ is not to lose yourself—it is to exchange the false self for the life you were created for.

What It Means to Deny Yourself

Denying yourself is an identity-level surrender.

It is laying down:

• Your self-made identity  – based on worldly perspectives like ego, performance, positions, possessions
• Your self-rule and self-will
• Your version of your story
• Your demand for control and comfort

It is the release of the old identity shaped by wounds, pride, fear, shame, and self-reliance so Christ can define who you truly are.

What denying yourself is NOT:

It is not:

• Self-hatred or self-rejection
• Losing your God-given personality
• Suppressing your worth or dignity
• Punishing yourself or rejecting joy

Jesus is not asking you to erase yourself—but to release the false self-centered self so your true life can emerge.

Crucifying the Flesh – The Daily Internal Battle

The ‘flesh’ is the fallen nature within us—self-centered impulses, emotional reflexes, and ungodly desires.

It includes:

• Pride
• Lust
• Resentment
• Anger and retaliation
• Fear and self-protection

To crucify the flesh is to yield to the Holy Spirit as He dismantles what you cannot kill on your own.

It prepares your soul to carry your cross with love, endurance, and forgiveness.

What It Means to Pick Up Your Cross Daily

Picking up your cross is the external expression of internal surrender.

It is not just enduring hardship—it is embracing obedience and sacrificial love even when it costs you.

It includes:

• Choosing obedience when it is costly
• Loving when it hurts
• Absorbing mistreatment without retaliation
• Forgiving instead of resenting
• Enduring pressure without quitting

This is only possible when self is denied and the flesh is crucified. The cross requires a dead flesh and a living Spirit.

Why This Is Important

Humanity was created for purpose—to reflect God, walk with Him, and partner with Him in a world filled with His glory.

Sin disrupted this purpose, twisting identity, warping desire, derailing destiny, and separating us from God.

Your purpose was interrupted as well. To be restored to the life God intended, the old self must die so the new life can rise.

The early church said:

“Die before you die, so that when you die, you will not die.”

Surrender now restores purpose, shapes eternal destiny, and prepares you for the joy of heaven.

How to Deny Yourself and Pick Up Your Cross

A practical pathway emerges:

1. Deny Yourself – surrender identity, will, and story.
2. Crucify the Flesh – allow the Spirit to kill sinful patterns.
3. Pick Up Your Cross – embrace sacrificial obedience.
4. Follow Jesus – live as His disciple, partner, and representative.

Best practices:

• Daily surrender prayer
• Declaring Your Surrender Out Loud – Declaration provided below
• Staying focused on your purpose: bring God glory, become love, manifest Christ, shine as a beacon
• Journaling identity lies and exchanging them for truth
• Confessing sinful desires and yielding them to the Spirit
• Practicing forgiveness and humility
• Embracing discomfort for serving God’s purpose

Declaration of Surrender and Cross-Bearing

Lord, I choose to lose this fallen life to find new life through You.
I deny my old self: I will let go of every false identity, every self-centered motive, and every attempt to control my own way.
I will release my pride, my wounds, my demands, and everything that once defined me.
My life no longer belongs to me—it belongs to You.

I crucify my flesh: I will put to death every sinful reaction, desire, and pattern that rises from my old nature.
I will choose patience over impulse, purity over compromise, and truth over the lies that once shaped me.
Holy Spirit, strengthen me—because I cannot change myself, but You can transform me completely.

I pick up my cross today: I will choose to sacrifice my interest and flow God’s love even when it costs me something.
I will forgive quickly, refuse offense, obey when it’s uncomfortable, and endure without quitting.
I will love others the way Jesus loves me, even when it hurts.

I will follow and imitate Jesus: I will walk in humility, compassion, servanthood, and surrender.
I will seek to become love in every situation, letting His nature guide my thoughts, words, and actions.
Where Jesus would go, I will go; what Jesus would do, I will do—by the power of His Spirit.

Lord, It is no longer “I” who lives, but Christ lives in me and through me.
Apart from Christ I can do nothing, but with the Holy Spirit all things are possible.
With His help, I will bring glory to God in all I do. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Self-Diagnostic: Old Self vs. New Life in Christ

Before we can follow Jesus fully, we must honestly evaluate which parts of our old self are still alive and which parts of Christ’s new life are now active within us.

The table below is a tool to help you recognize where the self-life still holds influence and where the Spirit is already at work.

Reflect on each row honestly. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth.

Ask Him: “Lord, what flawed/fallen part of me needs to die today so more of You can live in me?”

See which column best describes the recurring patterns in your life.

Confess those areas of weakness to God and surrender them to His authority.

Celebrate and reinforce areas where new life is evident.

Allow this assessment to guide intentional spiritual growth and daily cross-bearing.

Where to Learn More

Key Scriptures To Read / Meditate On:

• Luke 9:23–25 — The Core Call to Discipleship

Jesus’ most direct teaching on denying self, taking up your cross daily, and losing your life to find it. Essential for grasping the heart of discipleship.

• Galatians 5:16–25 — Crucifying the Flesh

Explains the battle between flesh and Spirit, the works of the flesh, and the fruit of the Spirit. Shows that flesh crucifixion is only possible through the Holy Spirit.

• Romans 12:1–2 — A Living Sacrifice

Reveals how surrender leads to transformation through renewal of the mind. Emphasizes presenting your whole life to God as worship.

• John 12:24–26 — The Grain of Wheat Must Die

Jesus explains that fruitfulness, impact, and eternal value flow from dying to self.

• Philippians 3:7–14 — Losing All to Gain Christ

Paul’s personal testimony of exchanging self-driven purpose for Christ-driven purpose.

• John 15 — Abiding, Fruitfulness, and Pruning

Shows that life flows from abiding, and pruning (removal, surrender) leads to greater fruit.

Books:

• The Practice of the Presence of God — Brother Lawrence

A classic on walking with God in all things. Helps readers cultivate a surrendered, moment-by-moment awareness of God’s presence—essential for denying self.

• Renovation of the Heart — Dallas Willard

A deep treatment of spiritual transformation. Willard explains how God reshapes identity, desires, will, emotions, and habits—the “inner self” Jesus calls us to deny.

• Victory Over Darkness — Neil Anderson

A practical resource for identity in Christ, authority over sin, and overcoming the lies of the flesh—excellent for crucifying the old nature.

• The Purpose Driven Life — Rick Warren

Focuses on God’s purpose for your life and how surrender leads to meaning, mission, and fulfillment in Christ.

• Cost of Discipleship — Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A sobering, profound work that declares: “When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.” A must-read for understanding the cross-bearing life.

Teachers:

• Dan Mohler — Intimacy With God

Powerfully explains relational Christianity, identity in Christ, and why self-centered living must die.
Focus: Removing self, becoming love, manifesting Christ.

• Dan Mohler — Cultivating a Genuine Relationship With God

Shows how surrender, trust, and ongoing fellowship change everything—excellent for learning to deny self practically.

• Dan Mohler — Getting Alone With God

Stresses the importance of fellowship with the Father as the foundation for transformation.
Focuses heavily on identity surrender and removing self-awareness.

• John Bevere — The Awe of God

Emphasizes the fear of the Lord, obedience, and holy surrender.
Great for understanding why denying self is essential.

• Craig Groeschel — Mastermind (Renewing Your Mind)

Helpful series for renewing thinking patterns and crucifying mental habits of the flesh.

• Francis Chan — Surrender / Lukewarm Christianity

Stirs conviction and vision for wholehearted discipleship.

Practices: 

• Daily Surrender Prayer

Start each day by offering your identity, will, desires, and plans to God.
This resets your “inner compass” toward Christ.

• Scripture Meditation (Slow, Reflective Reading)

Focus especially on passages about identity, surrender, love, and transformation.
Allow the Spirit to spotlight areas where the flesh must die.

• Journaling (Lie → Truth Exchange)

Write down lies of the old self, confront them with Scripture, and replace them with the truth of who you are in Christ.

• Holy Spirit Partnership

Ask the Spirit daily:
“Show me what in me must die today so Christ can live more fully.”
Crucifying the flesh is His work, not yours.

• Practicing Forgiveness in Real Time

Cross-bearing requires releasing resentment the moment it tries to take root.
This is one of the clearest indicators of a crucified flesh.

• Choosing Costly Obedience

Whenever obedience requires discomfort, choose obedience—this builds the spiritual muscles of cross-bearing.

• Community & Accountability

Walk with others who are pursuing deep transformation.
Ask them to help you identify blind spots in the flesh and to encourage your spiritual growth.

• Maintaining Focus on Eternal Purpose

Remind yourself daily:

“I exist to bring God glory.”

“I exist to become love.”

“I exist to manifest Christ.”

“I exist to shine His light into darkness.”

Purpose fuels surrender; surrender fuels purpose.

Final Thoughts

Denying yourself, crucifying the flesh, and carrying your cross daily cannot be learned by accident.
They require:

• • revelation
  • consistent training
  • immersion in the Word
  • models to follow
  • practical tools
  • Spirit-empowered transformation

These resources and best practices will help guide and sustain the journey.