Introduction

Many people relate to God like He’s a distant cosmic vending machine:

• I put in prayers, good behavior, church attendance…
• He’s supposed to give me protection, blessings, answers, success…

That’s not Christianity. That’s a contract.

The God of the Bible is not looking for transactions.  He is seeking relationship — real, ongoing, personal, responsive connection.

“And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”
— John 17:3, NKJV

Eternal life is not about knowing a secret pass code or speaking a special prayer just to get into heaven someday. Eternal life is knowing God.

What Is an Active, Personal Relationship with God?

Think of the healthiest human relationships you know—where there is:

• Real conversation
• Mutual trust
• Shared life
• Growth over time
• Joy in simply being together

An active relationship with God is all of that, plus infinitely more—only He is God and you are not.

At its core, a personal relationship with God means:

• You invite Him into your real life—decisions, struggles, joys.
• You talk with Him honestly and frequently (not just at Him occasionally).
• You listen for His leading through His Word and His Spirit.
• You care about what He cares about and let Him shape your priorities.
• You respond: when He convicts, you repent; when He leads, you follow.

It’s ongoing, two-way interaction with a living Person, not a distant idea.

How Is This Different Than A Distant Transactional Relationship?

A transactional relationship with God sounds like this:

• “If I’m good, He owes me good things.”
•  “If I read my Bible today, He’ll protect me.”
• “If I give money, He has to bless my finances.”
• “If I pray hard enough, He must say yes.”

Key features of transactional faith:

• It treats God like a system to work, not a Person to know.
• It focuses on outcomes more than closeness.
• It often produces fear (“Did I do enough?”) or resentment (“Why didn’t He come through?”).
• It makes obedience a bargaining chip, not a love response.

By contrast, a relational walk with God says:

• “I obey because I love Him.
• “I trust Him even when I don’t understand.”
• “I seek His presence more than His presents.”
• “I value His will above my preferences.”

In a personal relationship, God is the treasure, not just the means to other treasures.

Why Is It So Important to Know God Rather Than Just Know About God?

You can:

• Quote verses,
• Win biblical arguments,
• Serve in ministry,
• Be busy for God…
  …and still not actually know Him.

Knowing ABOUT God is having information.
Actually Knowing God is connection.

• Information can impress people.
• Connection changes you.

Jesus warned about people who did “religious things” without relationship:

“Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not…done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you…’”— Matthew 7:22–23

Why does relationship matter so much?

• Because love requires knowing the other person.
• Because trust is built through personal history with Him.
• Because obedience flows from love, not fear.
• Because only relational knowledge produces real transformation, not just behavior modification.

How Does a Relationship with God Lead to Transformation and Partnership?

When you walk closely with God, two major things happen:

A. You Are Transformed

• • His truth confronts your lies.
  • His love heals your wounds.
  • His holiness exposes your sin patterns.
  • His Spirit strengthens your weakness.

The more time you spend with Him, the more you become like Him:

“…we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image…”
— 2 Corinthians 3:18

Transformation isn’t you trying harder. It’s God changing you from the inside out as you walk with Him.

B. You Become a Partner in His Work

God doesn’t just want to fix your life. He wants to work through your life.

As your relationship deepens:

• • You begin to see people through His eyes.
  • You care about what He cares about.
  • You sense His nudges to encourage, serve, pray, give, speak, step out.
  • You find yourself joining God in what He is already doing.

The Flow Is:   Relationship → Transformation → Partnership.

How Do I Know If I Have an Active Relationship with God?

Here are some honest diagnostic questions. Not to condemn, but to clarify.

A. Is there real interaction?

• • Do you talk to God at least once a day, or only in emergencies?
  • I Your Prayer A one Way Monolog?  or Do you ever stop to listen?

B. Is there real dependence?

• • Do you actively seek Him in decisions, or mostly rely on your own reasoning?
  • When life gets hard, do you run toward Him or away from Him?

C. Is there real change?

• • Is God’s Word actually shaping your beliefs, attitudes, and choices?
  • Are there areas where you can say, “I’m not who I used to be because of Him”?

D. Is there real affection?

• • Do you ever want to be with Him simply for Him, not just to get answers?
  • Is there a growing sense of love for God, not just obligation?

If most of your spiritual life feels like:

• • Checking boxes
  • Keeping rules
  • Managing guilt
  • Hoping to “stay on God’s good side”
    …you may be operating more transactionally than relationally.

The good news? That can change—starting now.

How Do I Establish (or Re-Establish) an Active Personal Relationship With God?

Here are some best practices and relational rhythms—not laws, but life-giving patterns.

1) Come to Him Honestly, Not Perfectly

Relationships deepen through honesty, not performance.

• • Tell Him the truth about where you are.
  • Bring your doubts, fears, confusion, even your anger.
  • Stop editing yourself for God—He already knows.

Pray something like:
“Lord, I want a real relationship with You. I admit I’ve often treated You like a system instead of a Father. I bring You the real me. Teach me to walk with You.”

2) Meet Him Daily in His Word as a Person, Not a Rulebook

Don’t just “check off” Bible reading.

Read to meet Him.

• • Ask: “What does this show me about who You are?”
  • Look for His character, His heart, His ways.
  • Let a single verse sink in and respond to it.

The Bible is not just information; it’s a meeting place.

3) Practice Two-Way Prayer

Move from monologue to conversation.

• • Talk to Him about your day, decisions, temptations, relationships.
  • Ask specific questions: “Lord, how do You want me to respond here?”
  • Then pause. Be still. Pay attention to Scriptures, impressions aligned with His Word, and wise counsel that He may use to answer.

You won’t always feel something dramatic, but consistency builds sensitivity.

4) Obey Promptly in Small Things

Nothing deepens a relationship with God like obedience.

• • When He convicts you: repent quickly.
  • When He nudges you: respond, even if it’s small.
  • When Scripture confronts your pattern: adjust, don’t argue.

Obedience is how you show God, “I value Your voice.”

5) Invite Him Into Your Real Life, Not Just “Spiritual Moments”

• • Ask Him into your work, your errands, your parenting, your conversations.
  • Turn everyday tasks into conversation points with Him.
  • Learn to say, “Walk with me in this, Lord.”

That’s how He becomes Lord of your life, not just a religious category.

6) Walk With Others Who Walk With God

God designed relationship with Him to be lived in community.

• • Spend time with people who actually know and love God.
  • Join or build a small group focused on following Jesus relationally, not just intellectually.
  • Let others encourage, challenge, and sharpen you.

Being around people who truly know God will stir your hunger to know Him too.

7) Guard Against Slipping Back Into Transactions

Keep an eye out for thoughts like:

• • “If I do this, God has to do that…”
  • “God owes me because I…”

When you catch them, correct them:

“No, Lord. You don’t owe me anything. You’ve already given me everything in Jesus. I obey and seek You because I love You, not to control You.”

That mindset shift is huge.

Where Can I Learn More

Key Sections of Scripture to Meditate On

• • John 15 – Abiding in Christ: Jesus explains how life flows from remaining in Him and walking in ongoing relationship.
  • Psalm 27 – Seeking God’s Presence: A model of desire, confidence, and trust rooted in relational intimacy.
  • James 4 – Drawing Near to God: Clear truth about approaching God, resisting the enemy, and cultivating humility.
  • Romans 12 – Renewing the Mind: Transformation comes from presenting ourselves to God and letting Him reshape our thinking.
  • Philippians 3 – Knowing Christ Above All: Paul shows that knowing Jesus personally surpasses religious accomplishments.

Books and Written Resources

• • The Purpose Driven Life – Rick Warren: A foundational guide to discovering God’s purpose and walking with Him daily.
  • Reaching for the Invisible God – Philip Yancey: Honest, reflective writing on pursuing intimacy with God in the middle of real life.
  • The Practice of the Presence of God – Brother Lawrence: A classic work on learning to walk with God moment by moment.
  • Renovation of the Heart – Dallas Willard: A deep dive into how God transforms character through relational discipleship.
  • Victory Over Darkness – Neil Anderson: Practical teaching on identity, spiritual authority, and freedom in Christ.

Videos to Watch

• • Dan Mohler – Cultivating a Genuine Relationship with God: A powerful message on moving from obligation to intimacy.
  • Dan Mohler – Intimacy With God: Practical teaching on how closeness with God reshapes identity and behavior.
  • Dan Mohler – Getting Alone With God: A reminder of the importance of private time with God as the foundation of spiritual life.
  • Dan Mohler – Knowing About God vs. Knowing God: Explores the critical difference between information and transformation.
  • John Bevere – The Awe of God: Examines how the fear of the Lord deepens connection and strengthens spiritual maturity.

Best Practices for Building an Active Relationship with God

• • Meet with God Daily- Consistent time in prayer, Scripture, and honest reflection builds sensitivity to His voice.
  • Read Scripture for Relationship-: Approach the Bible to discover God’s heart, not just to gather information.
  • Practice Two-Way Prayer: Share openly with God and pause to listen; allow Scripture and the Spirit to guide.
  • Obey Quickly in Small Things: Responding to God’s nudges builds trust and deepens relational connection.
  • Walk with Godly Community: Surround yourself with believers who pursue God relationally, not transactionally.
  • Welcome God Into Everyday Life: Invite Him into decisions, struggles, conversations, and ordinary routines.
  • Reject Transactional Thinking: Replace performance-based approaches with relational trust and love-driven obedience.

Final Encouragement: God Wants You, Not Your Performance

If your spiritual life has felt dry, distant, mechanical, or heavy,

it may be because you’ve been relating to God as a system instead of as a Father, Friend, and Lord.

The invitation today is simple and profound:

• • Move from performance to presence.
  • From bargains to trust.
  • From occasionally checking in to continually walking with Him.

God does not just want things from you.
He wants you.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
— James 4:8, NKJV