What Does It Mean to Pick Up Your Cross? Learn from Jesus

Why Jesus Calls Us to the Cross

Jesus did not invite people into comfort, self-fulfillment, or religious status. He invited them into life—and He made clear that the path to that life runs through the cross. The call to “pick up your cross” is not metaphorical decoration; it is a defining mark of discipleship.
Understanding what Jesus meant by this call—and how He lived it Himself—transforms how we interpret suffering, obedience, and what it means to follow Him faithfully.

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”  Matthew 16:24

What Is Sacrificial Suffering?

Sacrificial suffering is the willing acceptance of loss, pain, or disadvantage in obedience to God and for the good of others. It is not suffering for suffering’s sake, nor is it the result of foolishness or wrongdoing. It is faithfulness chosen when obedience costs something real.
Jesus’ call to the cross teaches us that Kingdom life is built on trust in God rather than self-preservation.

Picking up your cross rarely looks dramatic. More often, it looks like forgiving when you would rather withdraw, holding to the truth when it costs you, remaining faithful when obedience feels unrewarded, and trusting God when outcomes are uncertain. It looks like serving without recognition, loving those who misunderstand you, refusing compromise when it would make life easier, and continuing to follow Jesus when comfort or pleasure would suggest another path. These quiet acts of faithfulness are the everyday shape of sacrificial suffering in the Kingdom of God.

Relational and Emotional Examples

• • Choosing forgiveness when you have every justification to withhold it
  • Loving someone who misunderstands, misrepresents, or rejects you
  • Remaining faithful in a marriage or relationship when it requires patience, humility, and restraint
  • Absorbing offense rather than escalating conflict
  • Speaking truth in love when silence would be safer

Integrity and Obedience Examples

• • Refusing dishonest gain even when it costs you financially or professionally
  • Telling the truth when it risks damage to your reputation or advancement
  • Obeying God privately when no one else will know or applaud
  • Saying no to temptation when indulging would bring immediate relief or pleasure

Trust and Surrender Examples

• • Letting go of control over outcomes, timing, or recognition
  • Staying obedient when obedience leads to inconvenience or loss
  • Continuing to trust God when prayers are unanswered or delayed
  • Choosing faithfulness when circumstances feel unfair

Service and Love Examples

• • Serving others without expectation of recognition or return
  • Giving time, energy, or resources when you feel stretched thin
  • Caring for someone in weakness, sickness, or need over a long period
  • Putting another person’s good ahead of personal comfort

Mission and Calling Examples

• • Answering God’s call when it disrupts your plans or security
  • Remaining faithful to your calling when results are slow or unseen
  • Standing for truth in a culture that pressures compromise

Why Picking Up Your Cross Matters

The cross reveals how different God’s Kingdom is from the world’s systems.

• • The world seeks and rewards comfort, control, recognition, and safety.
  • The Kingdom advances through humility, surrender, obedience, and love.

“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25

Jesus Showed Us What Picking Up the Cross Looks Like

For Jesus, “picking up the cross” was not a single moment at Calvary. It was a lifelong posture of trust, surrender, obedience, and love, expressed in many forms of sacrificial suffering. Together, these reveal what cross-bearing truly looks like.

1. He Left Glory Willingly

Jesus’ suffering began before pain or rejection—it began with humility. He willingly laid aside the privileges of divine glory to enter human limitation. This was not loss imposed on Him; it was loss chosen for love.

“Who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant.” – Philippians 2:6–7

“In The Beginning Was The Word,… and the Word was God.” – John 1:1

“The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” – John 1:14

2. He Became Fully Human and Embraced Weakness

Jesus entered the full vulnerability of human life—hunger, fatigue, grief, dependence. He did not shield Himself from weakness; He embraced it so He could redeem it.

“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses.” – Hebrews 4:15

“Jesus therefore, being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well.” – John 4:6

3. He Lived in Poverty and Obscurity

Jesus accepted a life without wealth, status, or security. He trusted the Father daily for provision rather than building earthly safety nets.

“The Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” – Matthew 8:20

“Though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor.” – 2 Corinthians 8:9

4. He Endured Temptation Without Sin

Jesus faced real temptation—pressure to satisfy Himself, seize power, and avoid suffering. Picking up the cross meant resisting shortcuts and trusting God’s way.

“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted.” – Matthew 4:1

“He was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.” – Hebrews 4:15

5. He Was Misunderstood and Rejected

Jesus was repeatedly misunderstood—even by those closest to Him. Faithfulness did not bring approval; it often brought rejection.

“He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him.” – John 1:11

“Even His brothers did not believe in Him.” – John 7:5

6. He Was Betrayed by a Close Friend

Jesus suffered relationally. Betrayal came not from enemies, but from one He trusted and loved.

“He who eats bread with Me has lifted up his heel against Me.” – John 13:18

“Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests.” – Matthew 26:14

7. He Was Abandoned by His Followers

At His darkest hour, Jesus stood alone. Those who pledged loyalty fled. Picking up the cross meant continuing obedience without human support.

“Then all the disciples forsook Him and fled.” – Matthew 26:56

“I am alone, because the Father is with Me.” – John 16:32

8. He Endured False Accusation and Injustice Without Retaliation

Jesus suffered unjust systems without retaliation. He trusted the Father to judge rightly.

“False witnesses came forward.” – Matthew 26:60

“Who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return.” – 1 Peter 2:23

9. He Accepted Mockery and Public Humiliation

Jesus absorbed shame rather than avoiding it. The cross included social and emotional suffering, not just physical pain.

“They mocked Him, saying, ‘Hail, King of the Jews!’” – Matthew 27:29

“He endured the cross, despising the shame.” – Hebrews 12:2

 10. He Suffered Extreme Physical Violence, And Then Forgave Them

Jesus’ body bore real pain. Love was not symbolic; it was costly.

“Then he released Barabbas to them; and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered Him to be crucified.” – Matthew 27:26

“They pierced My hands and My feet.” – Psalm 22:16

“And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’” – Luke 23:34

11. He Bore Sin and Guilt Not His Own

The deepest suffering of the cross was spiritual. Jesus carried the weight of humanity’s sin so reconciliation could occur.

“He Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree.” – 1 Peter 2:24

“The LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” – Isaiah 53:6

12. He Experienced Spiritual Agony While Trusting the Father

Jesus felt the darkness of abandonment yet did not abandon faith. This shows that faithfulness is possible even without felt comfort.

“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” – Matthew 27:46

“Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit.” – Luke 23:46

13. He Trusted God To The Point of Death and Beyond, in Faith Waiting for Vindication

Jesus entrusted the outcome fully to the Father. Resurrection was not forced—it was trusted.

“You will not leave My soul in Hades.” – Acts 2:27

“This Jesus God has raised up.” – Acts 2:32

Jesus picked up His cross by choosing trust over control, obedience over comfort, love over self-preservation, and faith over fear—at every stage of life, not only at death.

What Can We Learn from Jesus and His Cross

Picking up the cross teaches us that obedience precedes understanding, trust often comes before relief, and life emerges only after surrender.

“Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.” – Hebrews 5:8

The Following table summarizes the various ways Jesus suffered in faith, why each matters, and how we should apply that learning to our lives.

How Do We Pick Up Our Cross Today?

We do not seek suffering, but we do not avoid obedience when suffering comes.

Picking up your cross means choosing faithfulness over comfort in real, everyday decisions.

1) Humble Yourself

Like it or not, You are completely dependent on God; You can do nothing without Him. 

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” – John 15-5

2) Submit Yourself To God – Put Him First – Make Jesus Lord of Your Life

You have free will. God gives you the choice and your choice has consequences. God promises blessings and protection if we put Him first and follow His instructions and He make it clear there are consequences if we chose not to follow Him.

“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse: the blessing, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today, and the curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn aside from the way that I am commanding you today, to go after other gods that you have not known. – Deuteronomy 11:26-28

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” – James 4:7

“…if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” – Romans 10:9

3) Release Control and Entrust Outcomes to God

“Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.” – Psalm 37:5

4) Love and Serve Without Needing Recognition

“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.” 1 John 3:16

5) Absorb the bad crap that happens to you and do not retaliate

One of the best ways I have learned to understand the cross came from Dan Mohler. 

His quote is “Don’t let sin against you become sin in you.” 

You need to absorb the bad stuff that people say or do and let it fall off you without you taking it to heart or adversely impacting your attitude.

 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:17-19

6) Obey God Even When It Costs You

“Be doers of the word, and not hearers only.” James 1:22

Are We Walking in Fellowship with Jesus and the Cross?

Use this table as a self-test.

“That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings.” – Philippians 3:10

Ask Yourself:

Which column most honestly describes my current posture?

Where do I most resist surrendering control?

What is one concrete way I can pick up my cross today?

Picking up the cross daily means choosing trust, obedience, and love over comfort, control, and self-preservation—again and again.

Where to Learn More

• Isaiah 52–53
• Matthew 16, 26–27
• Hebrews 2, 5, 12
• 1 Peter 2–4

Call to Action

Look closely at Jesus. Study how He trusted, obeyed, and loved through suffering.

Then begin to emulate Him—not perfectly, but faithfully.

“He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.”  – 1 John 2:6