Introduction: 

Many people assume that as long as they believe in God, the direction of their life is secure. Scripture does not support that assumption. The Bible is relentlessly clear: the way you live reveals who you belong to, and the direction you choose now is shaping both your present life and your eternity.

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” — Galatians 6:7

God does not force intimacy, obedience, or transformation. If you choose to live for yourself now—centered on your own desires, comfort, and control—you are training your heart to live apart from Him.

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” — Matthew 16:24

Living separate from God does not begin at death; it begins now. When a person repeatedly resists God’s authority, love, and truth, their life gradually organizes itself around self—self-preservation, self-gratification, and self-justification. Over time, that separation becomes normal, even comfortable.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.” — Proverbs 14:12

This trajectory has consequences: relational breakdown, inner emptiness, increasing deception, and ultimately an eternity consistent with the life a person chose to live.

“He who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”
— Galatians 6:8

Because God is loving, He does not remain silent while someone drifts away from Him. He allows resistance, discomfort, and trials—not as punishment, but as mercy.

“For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” — Hebrews 12:6

These pressures are meant to interrupt self-centered living and call a person back to humility, truth, and repentance. Suffering alone does not transform anyone; repentance does.

Why Living for Self Feels Normal in a Fallen World

Living for yourself rarely begins with conscious rebellion. It begins with formation.

From birth, we are immersed in a fallen world system that trains us to center life on self. Scripture names this system clearly:

“For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.”
— 1 John 2:16

Our fallen nature predisposes us in this direction.

Left unchecked, the flesh does not drift toward obedience or love—it drifts inward, toward control and comfort.

“For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another.” — Galatians 5:17

This is why Scripture never instructs us to manage the flesh, we must crucify it.

“And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” — Galatians 5:24

Life wounds accelerate this drift. Rejection, betrayal, injustice, and failure create pain that demands relief.

Instead of bringing wounds to God, many people turn to substitutes—pleasure, success, approval, power, distraction.

“My people have committed two evils:
They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters,
And hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water.”
— Jeremiah 2:13

Over time, coping mechanisms harden into patterns. Patterns become identities. What once felt like survival begins to feel like “who I am.”

“But exhort one another daily… lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
— Hebrews 3:13

This is how a life can organize itself around self without dramatic rebellion—only repeated choices to seek life apart from God.

Have You Already Experienced Trials?

 God often uses cycles of pressure to get attention when earlier correction is ignored.

“Yet you have not returned to Me,” says the LORD. — Amos 4:6–11 (repeated refrain)

Examples people recognize immediately:

• • Repeated relationship breakdowns despite changing partners
  • Career instability despite competence and effort
  • Chronic conflict with authority figures
  • Financial pressure despite increasing income

These are not automatic proof of sin—but they are often signals.

“Before I was afflicted I went astray, But now I keep Your word.” — Psalm 119:67

The danger does not come from experiencing trials—the danger is failing to learn from them.

“No chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”  — Hebrews 12:11

Two Ways to Live: A Diagnostic Comparison

This contrast is not about intentions. It is about fruit.

“You will know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:16

The issue is not what you intend, but what your life is producing.

The contrast below is not theoretical—it is diagnostic.

Attribute	Living for Me	Living for God
Core Orientation	Self-preservation, Self-advancement, Self-gratification	Love, Obedience, Glorifying God through service
Primary Question	“What do I get?”	“What honors God and blesses others?”
View of Resources	Owned, Hoarded, Leveraged for advantage	Entrusted, Stewarded, Intentionally flowed outward
Thinking Pattern	Transactional, Comparative, Self-justifying, Worldly	Truth-oriented, Surrendered, Spiritually Discerning
Emotional Driver	Fear, Pride, Envy, Craving, Insecurity	Love, Peace, Humility, Trust
Decision Filter	Comfort, Pleasure, Status, Safety	Truth, Obedience, Eternal value
Response to Pressure	Protect self, Blame, Justify	Die to self, Trust God, Respond in love
View of People	Tools, Threats, Obstacles, Source of Validation	Image-bearers to respect, love and serve
Use of Influence	Control, Impress, Secure advantage	Serve, Protect, Build, Restore
Fruit Produced	Strife, Emptiness, Fractured relationships	Peace, Unity, Visible Christlike love

Which Life Are You Actually Living? – A Self Test

Scripture consistently calls believers to examine themselves.

“Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.”
— 2 Corinthians 13:5

Do not answer these based on intentions or beliefs. Answer them based on patterns.

Directional Questions

Where do your time, money, and emotional energy naturally flow?

What do you protect most fiercely when it is threatened?

When pressured, do you move toward trust and obedience—or control and self-defense?

Heart and Motivation

Do you make decisions primarily based on comfort, fear, or approval?

Are you more concerned with being right or being loving?

Do you quietly feel entitled to certain outcomes, recognition, or comforts?

Relationship Evidence

Do people around you feel used, managed, or neglected?

Or do they experience patience, generosity, and genuine care through you?

Response to Conviction

When God exposes something in you, do you justify, delay, or rationalize?

Or do you repent quickly and realign your life?

Fruit Test

Is your life producing peace, humility, and spiritual growth?

Or recurring conflict, bitterness, emptiness, and relational damage?

Fruit reveals allegiance. Patterns reveal who—or what—you are living for.

If these questions make you uncomfortable, that is not condemnation, it is an open door to God’s mercy.

God is ready, willing , and able to help you change.

How to Change Course: Repent, Crucify, Bury, Be Raised

Change does not come from trying harder. It comes from death and resurrection.

1. Repent — Change Direction, Not Just Behavior

Repentance is not regret. It is agreement with God that your old way is wrong and His way is right.

“Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out.” — Acts 3:19

It involves humility and ownership without excuse, then a decisive turn of the heart and will.

Practical actions:

• • • Name your specific self-centered patterns without minimizing them
    • Confess them to God plainly
    • Stop blaming wounds, circumstances, or other people for your situations

Repentance realigns your authority structure. God becomes Lord again.

2. Crucify — Put the Flesh to Death

The flesh is at war with God and it does not negotiate. It must be denied authority and cut off.

“For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.”
— Romans 8:13

Crucifixion means:

• • • Saying no to desires that contradict God’s will
    • Refusing to justify sin because it feels understandable
    • Actively dismantling habits that feed self-rule

This is daily, intentional, and uncomfortable.

That discomfort is not failure—it is evidence of real change.

3. Bury — Put Off The Old Patterns And Baggage From The Past

What you refuse to bury will continue to rule you.

“Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts.”
— Ephesians 4:22

Burial means:

• • • Removing access to the people, environments, and inputs that feed old patterns
    • Letting go of identities built on pain, success, pleasure, or control
    • Accepting that some losses are necessary for real freedom

You cannot carry your old life forward and expect a new one.

4. Be Raised — Walk in New Life, Live From a New Source

New life is not self-improvement; it is dependency.

“Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead… even so we also should walk in newness of life.” — Romans 6:4

Being raised into new life means:

• • • Drawing identity, worth, and security from God alone
    • Practicing obedience even when it costs you
    • Allowing God’s love to flow through you to others visibly and consistently

This is where transformation becomes evident. God’s love is no longer an idea—it is made visible through your life.

This is where God’s love becomes visible:

“No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.”
— 1 John 4:12

Final Warning and Final Hope

Living for yourself has a cost. Scripture is clear and direct about that.

A life trained in self-rule now is a life moving away from God—whether intended or not.

God will not force relationship on those who resist Him.

“Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.” — Joshua 24:15

But the hope is just as real as the warning.

If you are willing to repent, to die to self, and to surrender fully, God responds immediately.

He heals, restores, reorders, and empowers. No matter how long you have lived for yourself, change is possible today.

“A broken and a contrite heart— These, O God, You will not despise.” — Psalm 51:17

The question is not whether you believe in God.

The question is: Do you live for God, Or are you still living for you?