Who do you love more God, or yourself?

Posted on January 17, 2021August 7, 2023 by jakirkgasser10439

Who do you love more: God? or Yourself? It does really matter

Thought for the day: Who do you love more God, or yourself? It really does matter.

I have come to appreciate that we each have 4 main types of love competing inside us: Love of Yourself, Love of the World, Love of God, and Love of our neighbor. The sooner we get them sorted out and into the right priority order, the better for ourselves and those around us.

Love of yourself is your self-centered focus on “ME”: what I look like, what I can do, what I have accomplished, what others think of me, how I compare to them. You need a level of self-awareness and self-confidence to function effectively, but If this love is driving your life, you end up focused on doing things to make yourself look good compared to others, at least in your own mind.

Love of the world is focused on your experience in this earthly world: physical pleasures, amassing wealth, collecting fancy possessions, etc.. If this love is driving your life, you end up with a bunch of “stuff” you can’t take with you when you die, or running the rat race to get ahead or stay ahead, often at the expense of others.

Love of God is recognizing His love and His truth, Recognizing His Creation, The Bible, His son, The gospel (The Fall, His virgin birth, sinless life, innocent death, resurrection, ascension, redemption, and salvation). You commit to live your life worthy of the price He paid for it; Looking forward to Him telling you He is proud of you when your time comes to stand before Him.

Love of your neighbor is treating everyone in the world with love and respect. Because God loves you, and you love God, you love all his children; You see them as His creations struggling to live in a fallen world, and you help them in any way you can with your gifts and resources.

As an exercise, go through an inventory of what you do during your typical day/week and ask yourself why you really do those things. If answers comes back “for Me” rather than “for God” then challenge yourself. For each “for ME” item, can you connect it to something useful you are doing for God and His kingdom? Ex: I am exercising 3x per week. Why? Is it so I look really good? Or is it so I am fit enough to continue doing things for others. If you can’t connect the dots to God with each of your activities, you have some opportunities to improve. There is a big difference in the root of our motivation if you can connect the dots, and it all starts in how you think; Change your thinking and you will change your being.

My prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me and never giving up on me. I thank you for sending us the Word, first in written form, and then in the flesh. I Thank you for releasing the Holy Spirit as a teacher and guide. I thank you for helping me understand our self-centered human nature and your intention for us to transform by renewing our minds. I thank you for helping me sort out my life; I love you, and I am committed to living a life worthy of the price Jesus paid. I thank you for continuing to help me root out any selfish self-centered agendas that are still at work. It is my intention for your love to flow through me to others unimpeded by any selfish agendas. I pray all your children develop eyes to see things from your higher perspective, may they develop ears to hear your word and learn to apply it to their lives and their specific situations, may they develop hearts receptive to your love and to seeing all others as your creations worthy of their respect and love. May they get their loves into the proper order so that You and Your kingdom of first, as you commanded. I ask this in Jesus’ Holy name. AMEN

Supporting scripture

The greatest commandments are to Love the Lord and our neighbors above all

“’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22:37-39)

To do that we need to get our own self-interest out of the way

“For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” (Galatians 6:3)

^“For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” (James 3:16)

“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24 )

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)

We need to focus on Him and His Kingdom rather than the things of this world.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

“For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.” (1 John 2:16)

We are to live a life worthy of the price He paid

You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men (or this world).(1 Corinthians 7:23)

“I beseech you therefore… present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.(Romans 12:1)

Transform by the renewal of your mind:

“…do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”(Romans 12:2)

The ultimate goal is to get your “ME” out of the way and let Christ and His love live through you

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

Hope this helps

Are you being led by the Lord?

Posted on November 29, 2020January 12, 2021 by jakirkgasser10439

Are you being led by the Lord?

Are you on the right path with your life? Are you facing some big decisions ? Are you facing a big challenge in your life: Health?, Finances?, Relationships? Would you like to be working with the Lord to achieve the optimum results, or would you rather go it alone, work against Him, hope you have everything figured out, hope there aren’t many surprises, and hope you aren’t making things worse.

One of our greatest opportunities is to be led by the Lord; He knows all things, He knows why you are here, He knows the best path for you to follow, and He will share it with you if you draw close and ask. It is then up to you to follow where He leads. If you do, He promises blessings; He will provide for you, He will protect you, He will ensure you enjoy the journey and that you bear much fruit along the way.

The following is a discussion of how to be led by the Lord. It starts with a bit on why it is important to let Him lead and some consequences if you don’t, then shares some how-to’s and then a few examples from recent experience.

Put the Lord first, and then His Kingdom

The first and greatest commandment sets a clear expectation that we are to love the Lord first and above all things:

“…you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30)

To love Him means to esteem Him, long for Him, promptly obey Him, to give him preference, and to be grateful for what He has done. To Love Him with all our heart means with our inner being, our passion, our drive, our conviction. With all of our soul means with our every breath as an individual human being. With all of our mind means with our thoughts and attention. With all of our strength means with our physical ability, force, power, mental toughness.

The second great commandment is to not put yourself above others:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

This combination makes it clear we are to be putting Him and His kingdom at the forefront of our attention and our agenda. They should make you question if the things you are focused on as you live your life are serving Him or others, or if they are entirely focused on you.

Avoid Idolatry

Idolatry occurs when we hold something as more important or a higher priority than God.

“You shall have no other gods before Me.” (Deuteronomy 5:7)

When we devote significant attention to something, we are worshiping it; we are positioning it in competition with God. Things that get worshiped include: money, possessions, our physical body, our work, or our reputation.

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)

If we continue down a path of focusing our energy on self-centered interests it can lead to some very destructive behaviors. As we pursue that path, we are worshiping ourselves and have put ourselves above God.

“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5).

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” Philippians 2:3)

“…but to those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness – wrath and indignation,tribulation and anguish, on every soul of man who does evil.”(Romans 2:8)

While not as obvious or blatant, this concept of idolatry also applies to those who do not let the Lord lead them. They are putting all their trust in themselves, their own capabilities, their own thinking, there own ability to get through issues. They are elevating themselves above Him. This is a form of pride.

“Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)

“Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, And before honor is humility.” (Proverbs 18:12)

“Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.”(1 Timothy 6:17)

The Lord makes it clear that His providence will make things gradually harder on those who resist Him until he finally breaks their pride.

“But if you do not obey Me, and do not observe all these commandments,… I will even appoint terror over you, wasting disease and fever which shall consume the eyes and cause sorrow of heart. And you shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it. I will set My face against you, and you shall be defeated by your enemies. Those who hate you shall reign over you, and you shall flee when no one pursues you. And after all this, if you do not obey Me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins. I will break the pride of your power; I will make your heavens like iron and your earth like bronze. And your strength shall be spent in vain; for your land shall not yield its produce, nor shall the trees of the land yield their fruit…” (Leviticus 26:14-30)

Let Him Lead you

God expects us to let Him lead us; He sees the big picture, We have a limited view; We need to put Him first in all things, trust that He has a good plan, and when we do, He will help us set the optimum path to follow.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

He has a better perspective, He knows all things, He sees things we can not see, He has plans that we do not yet see. His approach is better than we could come up with on our own.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

He wants us to connect all we do to God and the Kingdom, pursuing purpose that ultimately benefits others, and always recognizing Him as the enabling source. And when we do, He promises to help us along the way, and promises we will be better off in the long run.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

“And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Colossians 3:17)

“for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:13)

“And anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:38-39)

We have Help available

So how do we do that? Can we get some help? The answer is YES, and it is free. As soon as we accept the Lord as our savior, He makes the Holy Spirit available to us. All we have to do is ask.

“Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38)

“When you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and when you believed in Him, you were also sealed with the promised Holy Spirit.”(Ephesians 1:13)

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” (Luke 11:13

“By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.” (1 John 4:13)

We have the Holy Spirit available inside us: Ever present, All knowing, All seeing. He will reveal the mysteries of God.

“But as it is written: ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him’. But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.”(1 Corinthians 2:10)

Your spirit can access this knowledge and make use of it

“These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one. For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 2:13)

“And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” (Isaiah 11:2)

The holy spirit will help us. It will teach us, guide us and empower us.

Teach us: He will reveal God’s nature to us, help us understand scripture and the key messages.

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.” (John 14:26)

“(I pray) that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.” (Ephesians 1:17)

Jesus said “He will glorify Me (reveal my greatness), for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore, I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.” (John 16:14)

Guide us: He will help you recognize the truth when you find it, He will reveal God’s future plans for you if you ask

“…when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. (John 16:13)

He will help us understand the amazing power we now have inside us; The power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead.

“(I pray) that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.” (Ephesians 1:15-22)

The intention is for us to be led by the spirit rather than our natural understanding and risk being prideful or assuming we know the right answers.

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” (Romans 8:14)

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16)

“Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go’.” (Isaiah 48:17)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5)

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way” (Psalm 37:23)

The long term game is to use the Holy spirit inside us to help transform our mind. This is the primary purpose of the Gospel: Living a fully transformed life now and bringing heaven into place on earth. I will elaborate on this later.

“ …put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22)

In the short term, the Holy Spirit can also provide a specific “Word of Wisdom” to help us understand some specifics about our best path for the future. This is a spiritual gift, and it is available for the asking.

“But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit…” (1 Corinthians 12:7-8)

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5)

A “word of wisdom” is a piece of information given to a believer to help them gain insight and understanding (wisdom) for a specific situation. It is part of a personal conversation with the Lord. What does this scripture mean? What is His will in this situation? What is my best choice between two paths ahead? When a word is received it helps them build faith by knowing they are on the right path, the path the Lord wants them to be on.

A “word of knowledge” is usually a unique piece of information given to one person about the situation of another. This nugget of information can guide the receiver to minister specifically to one individual in a crowd (ex: Someone has a sprained wrist…raise your hand), or it can guide the receiver to minster to a stranger in public ( Hi, What is going on with your ankle, The lord told me it is some sort of sports injury, can i pray for you). This cross pollination of information reveals the power of the Kindgom and can open the door to non-believers, or deepen the fiath of believers.

How does the spirit talk to you?

He can insert thoughts into your brain. When you quiet yourself and enter a calm reflective/meditative state, The Holy spirit will insert positive, constructive, suggestive thoughts in your mind. These will be in stark contrast to the multitudes of loud, obnoxious, demanding, destructive thoughts inserted by devils as you go through the day.

Quiet yourself and ask, “Lord, How can I best help in this situation?” or” Lord, Help me see this situation from your perspective, so that I can be of best service to you?” or “Lord help me understand this specific scripture?” Sometimes the answer will be one word, or a message, or a piece of scripture, or an understanding.

“Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” (Psalm 32:8)

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” (Isaiah 30:21)

He can engage your feelings. There are a variety of signals you can recognize if you pay attention. When you are working through a series of thoughts trying to make a decision, He can send you a distinct sense of calm or peace as you arrive at the correct one; You will “know in your knower”, that it is right. This is often how you know you have found the right school, or spouse, or job. When you are working through a topic in your mind and you are reading scripture, one verse will stand out or resonate in your mind, it will come to life and become particularly meaningful. You feel it is talking to you. If something is not right, you can feel an unction, or an unsettled feeling knowing something needs to be addressed.

“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12)

How do you ask for a Word of Wisdom?

It is a simple process of quieting your mind, picturing the Lord in front of you, asking him a question, and staying quiet until He answers… I highly recommend getting in the habbit of using this process.

Click here for a step by step How-To.

Some examples:

Words of Wisdom have been very helpful to several of my friends as we navigated issues they were struggling with.

One friend was faced with several options for dealing with a severe injury disabling his arm. He had options including complete amputation, nerve reconstruction, muscle transplantation, or hoping for a miracle. We asked God for a word of wisdom to help focus our faith. While he was in the CT scanner the Lord placed the word “The Surgeon” prominently in his thought. At that point he knew in his knower that he was to pursue the surgeon who recommended a path.

Another friend was facing a complex cancer diagnosis where it has spread out to many internal organs. Because of the late detection and extent of spread, the oncologist immediately began chemo. Her options at that point included, continued chemo, extensive surgery, and faith in a miracle. We prayed for a word of wisdom to focus our faith. While in the CT scanner, the Lord planted the words “The Healer” in her thoughts. She immediately knew in her knower that she was to complete the course of chemo she was on to shrink the cancer and that the remaining cancer would be fully cured through faith in Jesus as by his stripes we are healed.

Click here for more examples…

Each of these words helped build faith and guided our path forward. As we build faith, we begin to better embrace God and put our trust in Him.

In conclusion

Allowing the Lord to lead you is powerful. The sooner you invite him to lead, the sooner you can get in sync with His plans. I encourage you to practice and get used to engaging the Holy Spirit in Words of Wisdom. Ask for clarity on specific questions. If you are facing a significant decision ask for a Word of Wisdom to guide your path. Each time you hear His voice and follow His lead in Faith, you better understand Him and strengthen your connection with Him.

Living a life lead by the Lord will make you a powerful force for change for others as you: model a life freed and saved from sin; demonstrate the blessings which flow to a righteous fully redeemed believer; and destroy the works of the devil who has already undergone judgement.

“And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: of sin, because they do not believe in Me; of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.(John 16:8)

Let me know how this works for you. Happy to discuss.

Why are you a Christian?

Posted on August 18, 2020August 27, 2020 by jakirkgasser10439

Where will you spend eternity? Are you sure?

Eternity is a long time. Where will you spend it: Heaven or hell? Are you sure?

Are you saved? Is it enough to just believe in Jesus resurrection and say a prayer of confession ala Romans 10:9?

Have you been baptized? in water? in the spirit? under who’s name? Does it matter?

Have you sinned? Do you still sin? Does it matter?

Do you belong to a church? Do you go to church? Does it matter?

Have you lived a good life? Do good things for people? Does it matter?

Why are you a Christian? Is it so you can get into heaven someday? OR is it so you can help bring heaven to earth now for all of God’s children? If both, which is more important to you personally?…be honest.

I believe the last question is the most important and may turn out to be the only one that really matters.

Over the centuries, Man has built different religious doctrines and entire church empires on the different ways to answer various doctrine questions. I have come to appreciate that most of it is a work of the devil to distract us and divide us and keep us from uniting agaisnt him.

Many people become Christians just so they can get into heaven when it is time. This is encouraged by a common sales pitch:

You’re a sinner..you are going to hell…say this prayer and be saved…do it now…you may die tonight in your sleep and you need to be ready!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to go to heaven, and that may be an awesome first step, but if that remains the main reason we are Christians we have missed the mark. What is the true motivation of this person to sign up to become a Christian. It is a desire to save themself from an undesirable future. It is actually selfish at its root when you think about it. It is all about ME. One thing I have learned about God and His Kingdom is it is never just about ME, it is all about HIM and His Kingdom.

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-29)

If folks only have the one initial motivation, and never work through the transformation to actually Love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself we have a problem.

He needs you to become focused on Him and to put His love into action for others.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

You can begin to see how we can have people who believe they are Christians because they said a prayer, or because they believe in Jesus. They often behave poorly, just going through the motions on Sunday to claim forgiveness for their inappropriate actions every other day, or sometimes even worse they attack each other with their version of doctrine and righteous indignation.

The reason HE wants us to be a Christians is so we can be a good example for others, to model his principles in action, to flow the love he has invested in each of us to others.

“My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18).

Why is this important? Because He needs his followers to become bright beacons for Him and the kingdom. If all Christians are not good role models, it gets hard to attract others to the message.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

These reasons are all about living life HERE and NOW, not having the special code to get into heaven some day in the future.

But what about Romans 10:9? The heart and the mouth are a big deal. What you hold dear in your heart is the root of your motivation; It is the WHY you do things. Your WHY begins to become evident in WHAT you choose to express in speech or through actions. Subtle nuances of the WHY can be sensed in HOW you express yourself. For example: You can often tell if someone is genuine as soon as they start to speak, or in their attitude as they do things.

So what is in your heart? Why are you a Chrisitian?

Are you DOing Christianinty… going through the motions? Practicing the rituals? Or have you become a committed Christian and submitted yourself to Him to be of service to others?

Can people see God when they look at you? How you speak? How do you choose to spend your time? What do you choose to do? How do oyu choose to it?

A couple of tests:

The last time someone cut you off in traffic: Did you get upset and mad at that person? Or did you pause and consider they may be having a bad day..and ask God to help them get through it and for His help to get them home safely.

The last time you were feeling stressed and in a hurry in a store: Were you terse and short with the clerk? Or did you greet them with a positive attitude and wish them a great day, knowing they have probably been dealing with upset people all day, or that they might be stressing about something at home.

The last time you saw someone living out life in a way you believe is not desirable or correct: Did you think less of them and condemn them? Or did you think of them as one of Gods children who is lost, and pray that God helps them find the truth and His love. Did you offer yourself to God to help in any way?

He wants us to transform during this life. To stop being self-centered and selfish the way the world teaches you to be.

“…do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).

Eternity is not just about calling out the name of Jesus in prayer. How you choose to live your life on this earth will determine how you live eternity!

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 7:21)

Get to know the will of God. Get to know Jesus. Jesus is the model.

“He (Jesus) is the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1:15).

“If you had known Me (Jesus), you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him” (John 14:7)

Be like Jesus; Be God’s love in action! That is how you will have confidence in your final destination.

“God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. (1 John 4:16-17)

Have a great day. I’m happy to discuss any and all of these points.

Pride – The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Posted on June 9, 2020August 5, 2020 by jakirkgasser10439

Pride: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Pride is a really, really, really big deal. It is one of the most important things to get right in this life. How you manage pride will not only affect your life here on earth, but it may well determine how and where you spend eternity.

Definition: Pride is a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from

One’s own achievements,
The achievements of those you are closely associated, or
From personal qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Examples:

“He is proud of his degree from a prestigious university”
“He is proud of his daughter’s performance in the school play”
“He takes great pride in his appearance”

Pride is an important and necessary foundation for healthy mental function. However, misguided pride is at the root of most evils.

The critical differences between healthy and unhealthy pride is the “Why” behind it. Pride is healthy when it is focused on producing usefulness for others. Pride is unhealthy when it only serves yourself.

Healthy pride (The Good)

He was proud of placing high in his class at a well-recognized university because it will open doors, enable him to get a good job, and allow him to make a real difference in peoples lives.
He was proud of his daughter’s performance in the play because she worked hard in preparation and she is clearly growing as a competant individual.
He takes pride in his physical fitness because it will enable him to live a long and productive life

Unhealthy pride (The Bad)

He was proud of being accepted at 15 schools because it was 5 more than any of his friends and proves he is better than them.
He always worked extra hours, even when there wasn’t much to do, just so people would notice him and comment on his dedication, it made him feel useful.
We was proud of owning the biggest house on the block, it made him feel important.
He got a brand new fancy sports car every year and parked it prominently outside because he knew the neighbors would see it every time they went by and they would think more highly of him, and maybe even become jealous.

You can start to get the picture: When it is all about ME it can become an issue.

I found it helpful to connect the dots with a few of the things I was proud of. I came to appreciate that the fancy ski boat I was very proud of was really just a vehicle to connect with people and build a social network around healthy outdoor sports activities. Recognizing that purpose shifted my thoughts more towards “how can I create an even better waterskiing experience for this group of people”, and away from “how can I make my boat look more beautiful”.

Exercise: Think about the various things you are proud of in your life (Physical self, Talents/Skills, Education, Accomplishments, Family, Job, Wealth, Possessions, etc). Ask yourself a couple questions: 1) Can you connect each of them to providing usefulness for others? 2) Have you been more focused on the “it” or on its usefulness? Reflect and adjust as needed.

A little bit on how Pride works;

Pride is a relative thing, it requires two parts: Your own mental self-image, and something to compare to. Both can be a challenge to get right, and both can be a source of issues if you get them wrong..

Your Self image:

How do you view yourself – mental and physical capabilities, competency, integrity, ambition, spiritual position with God?
There is a lot of literature on how to maintain a healthy self-image.
Jordan Peterson is one of the best. Recommend his 12 rules book and videos. <Link here>

The comparison image:

Who are you positioning against, and how do you view them
You make important comparisons in two directions:
- Horizontally: You vs other People
- Vertically: You vs God
With other people you are evaluating their mental or physical capabilities, social status, reputation, education, wealth, spiritual worthiness, etc.

With God you are characterizing His role in your life. It is a direct function of your understanding and beliefs. Do you acknowledge His existence, His role in creating and sustaining the universe, and His role in creating and sustaining your life. Who is really doing all the doing? Do you take all the credit? Do you acknowledge Him in your head? Do you give Him credit publicly?

So given that framework, here are some of the Ugly(s):

Self-Centeredness – Selfishness – It is all about “Me”
- This is the root of most undesirable situations
  - “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3)
Pride – pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from personal qualities or possessions that are widely admired. – It is healthy when it is focused on creating useful function for others. It is unhealthy when focused only on yourself.
Pride is considered the deadlies sin because it can get in the way of positive inflow from the lord. And with out positive inflow you will die spiritually and spend a long etenrity without the Joy of His love filling you.
- “Pride goes before destruction,
  And a haughty spirit before a fall.”(Proverbs 16:18)
- For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.(James 3:16)
- For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.(1 John 2:16)

Arrogance: Thinking you are above the need for input from others
- If you do not recognize God is the source of everything you are and everything you do, it is a form of arrogance – and it violates the great commandment – Love God with all your heart.
- Arrogance also manifests as not being willing to listen or not being coach-able.
  - “To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.” (Proverbs 8:13)
  - “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” (Proverbs 13:10)

Judgement – positioning yourself above anyone else – seeing them as beneath you – less capable in some way, less moral, less fortunate, poor, homeless, injured. You are all children of God and equal in his eyes.
Vanity – Striving to increase your own reputation
- Doing things for your own physical appearance in excess of practical function
- Doing extra activities just so that people will notice – workaholic
- Seeking “credit” for doing charitable things – charity should be done anonymously – God will give you credit
  - “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. (Matthew 6:1)
Boasting:
- This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches (Jeremiah 9:23)

Jealousy – Feeling you are missing out on something and you covet or desire what they have.
- “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else”. (Galatians 6:4)
Murder – Take action to bring someone else down – Physically kill or verbally speak against them. To do this you do not see them as equal in Gods eyes.
Lust – Wanting something for yourself without a proper and useful purpose for it.
Adultery – Taking something precious from someone else for yourself.

Exercise 2: How do you look at other people? Do you ever compare yourself to them? Is that constructive or just self serving? Do you see each and every individual person in this world as a child of God… worthy of His love?

Exercise 3: Who is responsible for all you have accomplished? Do you take all the credit? Who created you? Who gave you natural skills and capabilities? Who presents opportunities to use them? Who allows you to breath every second of every day? Do you acknowledge Him in your head? Do you give Him credit publicly? Do you really love Him with all your heart?

Pride can be a huge barrier for an effective relationship with God. You need to get over yourself and acknowledge Him and His role just to get started. Once you do that, you can work your way out of the self-centered mindset you were born into and are continually conditioned by during life in this world. Once you see yourself as a vessel of God’s love and recognize your purpose here is to be useful to God’s other children, you will be well on your way to an effective relationship with Him.

Hope this helps. Leave a comment. Happy to discuss.