How Can You Forgive and Even Love Your Enemies
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Introduction
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of Christian faith. We are called to forgive those who trespass against us, and then to go beyond forgiveness and demonstrate love for our enemies. This can be very difficult concept to grasp as it goes against our self-centered human nature which pushes for preserving our own interests and demands retaliation when we are attacked. We are called to rise above this earthyl orriented instinct and embody divine love. Jesus teaches us why this is important and demonstrates by example how to do it. It is essential to conquer this challenge to gain the benefit of Jesus’ work of salvation for us. I have come to appreciate some key points and perspectives to help us tackle this challenge. This post will explore what forgiveness is, why it is necessary, how we can practice forgiveness and go even further to love our enemies.
What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the purposeful act to pardon someone for a debt they owe without compensation.
To get a proper understanding of forgiveness it helps if we take a brief peek at the concepts of Justice, Debt, Mercy and Love.
Justice:
Justice demands that everyone be treated fairly; people should respect each other and not cause harm to each another. The Judeo/Christian concept of Justice is based on the biblical principle that every human being was formed in God’s image and deserves to be respected and treated fairly.
“Let us make man in our image”. Genesis 1:26-27.
“The rich and poor have this in common: The Lord made them both”. Proverbs 22:2
“For God shows no partiality.” Romans 2:11
Debt:
The administration of justice requires a system of accounting to keep track and resovle injustaces. Someone who does something to harm or adversely impact another person, must compensate or repay the victim for the impact they caused. Until the instigator completes thier compensation, they are said to owe a debt to the victim or creditor. There are several systems of justice to hold people accountable and a debt could take may forms:
Financial – A financial obligation – n outstanding loan, an unpaid bill for services recieved, or a recievable for services you have rendered
Material – Something borrowed or taken but not yet returend, or something returned damaged. Debt paid in like kind or fiinancial compensation.
Civil – Actions which harm another person. Debt sometimes paid in like kind, an eye for an eye.
Criminal – Actions which violate laws of the government, Debt is paid by a combination of fine and time served.
Moral – A thought, word, or action that violates God’s moral law. Debt is paid by substitutional blood sacrifice.
Forgiveness / Mercy / Love:
Forgiveness is a act of Mercy, and Mercy is an act of Love.
Forgiveness is pardoning an outstanding debt without repayment.
Mercy is withholding punishment or harsh treatment that is otherwise deserved.
Love is sacrificing your own interest for the benefit of another.
If you forgive someone for something they have done agasint you, you are releasing them from the debt they owe you. If you are forgiving them so they avoid punishment or advsere consequences it is an act of mercy. When you have compassion and forgive someone, you give up your right to be compensated for the damage they inflicted on you, this is a sacrifice and and act of love.
God demands justice so each person is treated fairly in the big picture. We each have sinned against God and His kingdom and we deserve eternity in Hell. Jesus loves us so much He sacrificed His life for us. Jesus paid the debt for our sins by suffering on the cross. Jesus is willing to be merciful to us and allow us to avoid eternal damnation if we are willing to follow Him. He is willing to forgive the debt of our sins if we are willing to forgive the sins of others agaisnt us. That is the deal, and it is a great one.
Action motivated by sacrificial Love is a powerful force for good. Christians are taught to go beyond mere forgiveness and actually demonstrate acts of love for the folks who are intentionally doing us harm.
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27-28
The concept of loving your enemy can be very difficult to embrace and execute if we are looking at the situation oly from our earthly perspective focused on the pain we have experienced at the hands of others. It only starts to make sense and become possible when you start to see things from God’s perspective. We will explore this in the following sections.
Why Should We Forgive?
There are many reasons to forgive the trespasses against you and to love your enemies, let’s go through my top 10:
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To Be Obedient and in Compliance With God’s Commands
God loves and blesses those who love Him and follow His commands.
“Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments” Deuteronomy 7:9
“He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him” John 14:21
You are called to forgive those who trespass against us.
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Matthew 6:12
“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” Matthew 6:14
You are called to love your enemy, because loving your friends is not a big deal.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,…” Matthew 5:43-45
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Forgive Others so You Can Be Forgiven
We are all sinners, we each face eternity in hell, we each require a savior to forgive us and grant us access to heaven.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
If we wish to be forgiven of our sins and seek eternal life with God, we must first orgive others of their sins against us. This is not an optional requirement; it is stated directly.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15
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Forgive, so You can follow Jesus’ example, imitating Him, becoming like Him, perfecting God’s love.
You are called to imitate Jesus, and become like Him, sacrificing your earthly self so you will be able to be bold on judgement day.
“Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” Ephesians 5:1-2
To forgive, you must be willing to sacrifice your own earthly interests to serve a higher purpose, loving and serving God the Father, yielding to the Father as the ultimate just judge, acting in love and serving your neighbor, and acting in faith to invest in your our own eternity. Jesus serves as the role model for each of these.
Jesus yielded His own human interests and did only the father’s will.
“Not my will, but yours be done” Luke 22:42,
Jesus humbled himself and became a servant for others.
“But emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:7-8
Jesus yielded to God the Father as the just judge over His situation.
“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” 1 Peter 2:23
Jesus forgave His enemies on the cross
“Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’” Luke 23:34
Jesus loved His enemies – To love is to sacrifice. We were His enemies, and He suffered and died for us.
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
We are to perfect the flow of God’s love by recognizing God’s Love in the sacrificial actions of His son, receiving love in the form of forgiveness for our sins, and then passing His love on to others by sacrificing ourselves for others by forgiving them.
“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.”1 John 4:11-12
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:44-48
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Love Your Neighbor, Serve Them By Sacrificing Your Interests For Their Sake:
You are called to love your neighbor as yourself. This means treat them as well as you would like ot be treated, and to come to their aid in a time of need.
“And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” Matthew 22:39
A neighbor in this case is anyone you come across who may be in need.
“Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers? He said, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You go, and do likewise.;” Luke 10:36-37
You are also called to love your enemies, bless them and pray for them. They are each innocent children lost in this fallen world and need help finding the path back to God’s love.
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” Matthew 5:44-48
Your acts of mercy and love will help their eternal soul by giving them a taste of the kingdom of God. Acts of goodness/kindness are like pieces of hot coal on an evil soul getting their attention
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Romans 12:20
Just as you benefit from receiving forgiveness, so do those you choose to forgive. Feeling valued and loved despite their mistakes, avoiding condemnation, getting a second chance. This is an echo of God’s unconditional love and can open the door for Him. Forgiveness is an act of love that can inspire the forgiven person to live differently.
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
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Sacrifice Now To Earn Rewards in Heaven:
A willingness to forgive debts and take actions to love and serve enemies requires understanding of the bigger spiritual picture. A conscious decision to sacrifice now in this life for the sake of the God’s longer term higher purpose is an act of faith. Acts of sacrifice and service towards enemies in faith earn rewards in heaven.
“And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:2
“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Hebrews 13:16
“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” Luke 6:35
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Avoid Playing Into the Devil’s Agendas
You have an active adversary and he is roaming around looking for whom he can destroy.
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
Satan works in some very predictable ways and we would be wise to avoid them.
“…so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.” 2 Corinthians 2:11
He likes to divide people and get them to work against each other, this works directly against God’s agenda of love and peace. The more people react to undesirable circumstances and spiral into cycles of counterproductive emotions of resentment, bitterness, and hatred, and take actions of vengeance and revenge, the more of God’s love we divert and waste, and the harder our hearts get.
We need to step up and break the cycle.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
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Support Your Own Transformation:
By humbly working through this process with intention and reflection, you will identify and address self-centered barriers currently limiting your transformation and effectiveness.
We are to deny ourselves, and be willing to suffer when needed for God’s higher purpose.
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.’” Matthew 16:24
Counter to earthly logic, Giving up our self-centered interests in our earthly life for God’s higher purpose, actually enables prosperity in our eternal life.
“Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25
“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.” Mark 8:35
We are to love others, and sacrifice our own interest in service of them, all to serve a higher purpose.
“And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:2
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
Working through this process of self sacrifice will help you transform your thinking, get you out of short term worldly behaviors, and help you find and embrace the will of God
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:1-2
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Be A Role Model, an Ambassador, a Beacon for the Kingdom:
By forgiving those who trespass against you, and loving your enemies, You will stand out from folks who are stuck in short term, self-centered, erthly thinking, and set an example for others, helping to deploy God’s kingdom on earth.
“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20
“You are the light of the world….let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16
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Defeat The Devil
The devil is defeated by the Jesus sacrifice for us (the blood of the lamb), the testimony of followers who receive the benefits and share thier stories with others, and believers not loving our lives to the point of death.
“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” Revelation 12:11
Forgiveness is an act of self sacrifice. Each voluntary act of forgiveness and/or act of love for your enemy requires you to sacrifice some peace of our own earthly interest in furtheranc eof God’s agenda. Each step undoing our sefl-centered life is a step towards reestablishing God’s perfect image inside each of us and a step toward undoing Satan’s power and influence over us.
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” 1 John 5:4-5
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7
“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” 1 Peter 5:8-9
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Experience Peace/Joy:
Your voluntary sacrifice in faith and transfering your trust to God for eternal justice will enable you to experience kingdom emotions in this life.
“…the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory” 1 Peter 1:7-8
How Can We Forgive Tresspasses, and Love Enemies?
Here are a few things you can do to be more successful in Forgiving Trespasses and Loving Your enemeis
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Pray for Strength:
Forgiveness, especially of enemies, often feels impossible in our human frailty. Turning to God in prayer can help you gain perspective, understanding and persevere through this process you are called to execute.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Example: Lord, this is a difficult situation for me. Please soften my heart and help me see things from Your perspective. Help me understand what is going on, Help me understand you intentions for each person involved, Help me align myself with Your will, Help me put judgement in your hands and not mine, Help me put my interests aside and serve your interests in this situation. Help me forgive those who trespass against me and help me bring your kingdom into place on earth as it already is in heaven.”
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Remember God’s Love, His Acts of Sacrifice, and His Forgiveness of Us:
Reflect on the depth of God’s sacrifice and forgiveness toward you. Our sins have not been ignored; God always demands justice and Jesus stepped up and paid the price for our sins with His suffering and death on the cross. He died so we could have eternal life. When we grasp the magnitude of God’s mercy in our lives, it becomes easier to extend that mercy to others.
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
“In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1 John 4:9-10
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:12-13
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Pray for Wisdom, to see this situation from His perspective
Seek to understand difficult or complex situations for God’s perspective. You can be assured that the spiritual forces influencing the situation are deeper than what appears from an earthly perspective, and that resolution will require acting differently than the path earthly logic would take you.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” Proverbs 3:5–6
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death” Proverbs 14:12
You can be assured that He loves all of his children even when they are lost and distracted by powers of the enemy.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12
Ask the Lord what is happening behind the scenes in this situation? What might His various children be struggling with? What intentions would He have for each of these children? What is the devil doing to disrupt God’s agenda?
Ask Him directly and specifically for insight and input in prayer and journalling.
“Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord” Ephesians 5:6–10
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” James 1:5:
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Leave Justice to God:
Forgiving does not mean excusing or ignoring injustice. Instead, it involves entrusting the administration of justice to God, who is the ultimate judge.
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” Romans 12:19
God promises that wrongdoers will get exactly what they deserve.
“Now I will soon pour out my wrath upon you, and spend my anger against you, and judge you according to your ways, and I will punish you for all your abominations. And my eye will not spare, nor will I have pity. I will punish you according to your ways, while your abominations are in your midst. Then you will know that I am the Lord, who strikes.” Ezekiel 7:8-9
Jesus showed us by example, He entrusted justice for all that was being done against Him to God the Father
“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to Him who judges justly.” 1 Peter 2:23
Delegate justice up, and state Your forgiveness and positive intentions for those who trespass against you:
Example: “Lord, I have been harmed by this unfortunate situation and this person currently owes me a debt. Lord, you call me to forgive those who trespass against me and I will comply. You suffered and died as a sacrifice to forgive my debts, I hereby sacrifice my stake in this debt In your name. It trust you will administer justice as appropriate for this situation and for your long term plans for this person. I speak the best for this person, may they find you, your love, and your plans so they can enjoy you for eternity.”
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Pray for your enemies, those who systematically are working against you
You can be confident that God has positive intentions for each of His children who are currently lost. He wants each person to discover the flaws in their ways, come to repentance, discover the truth about Jesus, get on the right path in this life, and spend eternity with Him.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9
“Who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:4
Pray God’s will for your enemies
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. Luke 6:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” Matthew 5:43-44
Example prayer: “Lord I approach you in righteousness and speak for this lost child. I know you formed them in the womb and put them here for a purpose. I know you have plans for them, plans for hope and a future. I rebuke the evil that has distracted them from your intentions, and I hereby speak success for them for their benefit. Lord, help them find repentance for their past actions, help them find you and your purpose, help them transform and become the person you intended them to when you put them here; A person of love with life in abundance who will enjoy eternity with you in heaven. I ask this in Jesus’ name to bring the Father glory. Amen”
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Act In Love Toward Your Neighbors, Anyone In Need, Including Your Enemies:
Find ways to act in kindness and love for your enemies. Acts of love can soften hearts and pave the way for reconciliation.
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44,
“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.” Proverbs 25:21-22
Ask the Lord directly for input on what to do . Use Journalling to gain specifics
Example: “Lord, I want to be of best service to you in this difficult situation. I know you have a path forward for this precious lost soul. I know you have given me gifts and resources. Please help me see what I can do to help this lost child find your path for them.”
Write the response you get, test it for credibility, and execute it in faith.
Conclusion
Forgiveness is a divine mandate and a profound act of love that propagates God’s mercy through His children. It frees us, heals relationships, and bears witness to the gospel. As we choose to forgive those who trespass against us, especially those who are actively working against us, we emulate Christ’s example, bringing glory to God and experiencing the peace that surpasses understanding. Forgiveness done well is merely a onetime act but becomes a way of life, rooted in the unfailing love of God. By understanding what forgiveness is, why it matters, and how to practice it, we can rise above our flawed human tendencies and experience God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.
References:
Forgiveness is an act of Spiritual Warfare:
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/forgiveness-is-spiritual-warfare